Elizabeth the Great

Once upon a time there was a woman running for president who had a plan for everything. She had fire in her belly, was a ferocious progressive, and had the experience to handle the highest office in the land. She was the opposite of all talk, no action. How many candidates could say that they created an entire government agency from scratch? The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau looked out for the little guys, not Wall Street. 

While not the frontrunner of the race, she moved up in the pack as more and more people began to listen to her plans and liked what they heard. Universal health insurance for the uninsured. Cancelled student loans for debt-ridden college graduates. Universal Pre-K schooling for disadvantaged children. All these things resonated with the public. Besides, she was the Queen of Selfies. Anyone who attended one of her many town halls could line up and take their picture with her. She left no stone unturned. She would fight for every vote. 

How would she make her plans a reality? Tax the richest of the rich, for starters. She was successfully tapping into the growing, deep-seated resentment of the class divide.  People wanted real structural change. 

One day, in a Democratic debate, she eviscerated a fellow candidate. This candidate, like King Orange, was accused of sexual harassment and making derogatory comments about women. In fact, if one heard the comments, they might think it was King Orange who made them.  The candidate in question was a billionaire who felt that he could buy the presidency. She showed him that he’d have to earn the women’s vote. Whether the general electorate would care was a different matter. 52 percent of white women, after all, voted for King Orange despite him “grabbing women by the pussy.” 

Alas, it was not meant to be. She was never able to gain traction at the voting booth in the contest to see who would replace King Orange in the White House.  Not even in her home state. The press hardly gave her a chance. She wasn’t even mentioned in certain poll results. Women have to work twice as hard to get half as far, and she was no different. 

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